Here we go ’round the merry-go-around.

It’s another one of those weeks. Elsie is sick, my husband is away at work and now Elsie has passed on her bug to me and I feel like, well, poo. And I’m trying to take a nap, but I’m scrolling through my newsfeed and there’s something about FIFO/DIDO workers ( which seems to be quite topical of late) and I am compelled to read on. Goodbye nap, hello inspiration.

The writer is saying how hard it is to work in mining, on a roster, away from your family, in less than pleasant conditions. It’s true. I am usually the one complaining how hard it is to be the one at home, with the sick baby, on my own, but it’s equally as tough for my husband. I can only sympathise though, as I have no idea what it would be like to be out there on your own, a million miles away from reality and your friends and family, working for 12 and a half hours, dawn till dusk, or dusk till dawn, day after day. To my husband: thank you. Thank you for doing that so we can afford our wonderful lifestyle.

But it does make me wonder. Is it all worth it? Are our well-paying jobs worth it? Is having this beautiful house and a new car worth it? Money makes us comfortable, but does it make us happy? If we had less money would there be more stress because we couldn’t do the things we want, or be spontaneous, or fly home to see family when we felt like it? The answer: I don’t know.

Some days I just want to throw caution to the wind and pursue my dreams, however wild they may be. But most of the time I just let comfort and security hold me back. At times I tell my husband to quit work and find another job so he can live at home with us all the time, and then I think of all our plans for the future and how much further we’ll be from achieving those dreams if we can’t afford them. It’s a hard question. Live for the moment or live for the future? I don’t have the answer.

One thing I am certain of is that I spend way too much time thinking about everything I haven’t got and not practising gratefulness. Like when Justin isn’t here to help me, and material things I ‘need’ to buy, or things in my house that I want to change, not to mention the jobs that haven’t been done.

Starting today I am going to make a conscious effort to stop dwelling on the negative and focus on what I do have. All the wonderful things I own like our beautiful furniture, and books, and craft supplies hidden away in those back cupboards. What I can give to others, and what can I make for myself and my family. And of course, most important of all, all the wonderful love of my husband and daughter during the special times we do spend together.

Image note: A photo from my morning walk, just 5 minutes down the road from my house. How lucky am I to live in such a beautiful part of the world?!